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Movie Review: Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant

Someone please tell me that the books aren’t as bad as this movie. As my husband said, ham-fisted is too gentle a descriptor. No scene could make a point without it being followed up by someone explaining the point in the next scene.

The acting was terrible (and I like a lot of the actors in this). We had to assume it was because the script was so bad, they couldn’t get through it without the camp.

I really am all for anything that gets kids to read, but could we limit the movie making to stuff that’s actually good?

 
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Posted by on October 14, 2011 in Movies

 

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Movie Review: Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time

When we first saw previews for Prince of Persia, I remember commenting “Jake Gyllenhaal…?” But that kind of miscasting was the least of (or at least only one of many) the problems with this movie. I really don’t know if I should blame the script, the direction, or the acting. All of it was bad- and sadly not in the so bad I enjoyed it kind of way. It was just bad.

To top it off, let me tell you- when you give Ben Kingsley that kind of facial hair, it’s a dead give away that he’s the bad guy.

 
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Posted by on September 8, 2011 in Movies

 

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Movie Review: Tangled

The songs weren’t that great (though I did love the duet in the boat) but for once, the songs were not what made this movie. I loved Little Mermaid and Beauty and the Beast, but without the musical numbers, those movies wouldn’t have been nearly as good. That wasn’t true of Tangled.

Tangled was a fun coming of age romance with or without the music. The animals were appropriately cute and personable (loved Maximus who was more like a dog than a horse). And, of course, it was perfect that the hero was willing to sacrifice himself for her freedom.

 
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Posted by on September 7, 2011 in Movies

 

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Movie Review: Taken

I remember when First Contact game out, a quote from Brent Spiner about how cool it was to be able to play an action hero in his late 40s. At the time, that was novel. Not so much anymore. Liam Neeson is in his 50s or 60s now, and he gets to play an action hero in Taken. (I’ve even heard rumors of a sequel.)

It was an enjoyable movie- not too many disconnects, fast paced action and the like. I do wonder what happened to the first girl he rescued. Did he just leave her in the hotel room?

 
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Posted by on September 1, 2011 in Movies

 

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Movie Review: Conan (2011)

Enjoyed the new Conan movie tremendously. It was very Conan- both in terms of the old Arnie movies and the Howard books.

There’s lots of blood, a substantial amount of nudity, and plenty of cheesy one liners. What’s not to love?

Plus, Jason Mamoa is much more enjoyable to look at than Arnie. He just is. And regardless of what you think of his acting skills, his speaking skills are such that he can do more than yell “Krom!”.

I am very much hoping that they choose to franchise this and that we see more of Conan and his friends.

 
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Posted by on August 23, 2011 in Movies

 

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Movie Review: War, Inc.

I have a place in my heart for satirical war comedies. And I had seen bits and pieces of War, Inc. before, but never sat and watched the whole thing.

I love that John and Joan Cusak like working together. Their real life sibling relationship always translates to great on screen chemistry.

The movie had some absurdist moments- fight in the back of a garbage truck, anyone –and also some sweet moments between John Cusak’s character and Hillary Duff’s.

However, if you’re looking for John Cusak as a bad ass assassin in a dark comedy, go for Grosse Pointe Blank.

 
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Posted by on August 20, 2011 in Movies

 

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Movie Review: Sherlock Holmes

I had forgotten this movie was directed by Guy Ritchie, but when I saw his name in the closing credits, it all made sense- well, more sense, anyway. I’m not certain what I think of pugilistic Holmes and Watson.

At just over 2 hours, this movie was way too long. When Robert Downey, Jr. and Jude Law were on screen together, it was really good. The chemistry between the two worked better than I could have imagined. Sadly, they were not always on screen, let alone on screen together. Any scene without their banter was not worth staying awake for.

 
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Posted by on August 10, 2011 in Movies

 

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Movie Review: Princess and the Frog

I love Disney movies. That said, I am more than willing to admit that some are better than others. In the modern era, I tend to rank things on the scale of Hercules (worst) to Beauty and the Beast (best).

I finally had the chance to sit down and watch the Princess and the Frog. It was enjoyable, though none of the songs really stood out to me and I really never understood the main villain’s motivation. It was better than Hunchback overall, but not as good as Mulan, putting it closer to Hercules than Beauty, but still not bad.

 
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Posted by on August 8, 2011 in Movies

 

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Movie Review: Secretariat

I always knew I’d end up watching Secretariat; it’s a horse movie. I love horses. The thing was, I knew the ending, so I was not certain how they’d hold my attention. They held it with honest performances, a simple story line, and beautiful shots of horses running.

Diane Laneand John Malkovich were perfect (this is not a surprise), and the supporting cast was well rounded with faces I knew but did not detract from the story.

The movie kept me awake on a night when I was exhausted, which is about the highest compliment I can give it.

 
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Posted by on August 7, 2011 in Movies

 

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Movie Review: Ninja Assassin

Some movies would be so much better if they could figure out how to not take themselves so seriously. So much of Ninja Assassin (including the previews I remember) seemed like it should be able to poke fun of itself, but it just never found a way.

The music over the closing credits also seemed like they’d originally planned on having fun, but someone never told the director. I don’t know, all I know is, copious amounts of free flowing and splattering blood do not belong in a movie that’s trying to be serious. It is just out of place.

 
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Posted by on August 1, 2011 in Movies

 

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